April 2013
2 posts
What to expect when you interact with other humans
It’s so rare that some ‘humorous’ ‘lifestyle’ piece engages me at all, let alone makes me feel a burning wrath. But the Guardian Weekend extract from Hadley Freeman’s new book made me want to cry all of the tears. I don’t really have any strong feelings on her writing either way: sometimes her column is one of those ‘can’t believe I spent that time I’ll never get back reading this’, other times...
A tiny voice
Although you mightn’t guess it from the (in)frequency with which this blog is updated, I have ideas for it all the time: weddings, babies, this pregnancy which today feels like it’s been going on for approximately 48 months, the privatisation of the NHS, Thatcher and the funeral, the power of the gun lobby and other lobbyists in the US, Hilary Mantel and just how fantastic she is,...
February 2013
2 posts
The Truth about Publication Day
It’s not all bunches of roses and signings at Waterstones, you know. A factual look at a real publication day of a real-life author (me):
6.45am Alarm goes off. Snooze.
6.55am Snooze again.
7.05am Fairly sure by now that someone, somewhere in the flat must be preparing my Publication Day Celebratory Breakfast. Maybe they’re just distracted by bringing in all the bouquets? Hit snooze...
The kindness of mothers (not including me)
About two weeks ago, M complained of an itchy head. On cursory inspection, it was clear there was a whole battalion of lice breeding on there, to which my first reaction was this.
But to be a bit Pollyanna-ish about it, it turned out to be rather pleasant: every night the kids have a bath, have their hair slathered in conditioner, then I comb their locks until every one of those beasts is...
January 2013
3 posts
Miserable (yeah, I *did*)
Even if a film is bad, I always enjoy going to the cinema. Even when it’s a cinema that’s been (perhaps rightly) criticised, I enjoy the darkness, the quiet, the lack of distractions (if things go as they should). And yet last night’s viewing of Les Misérables left me fuming. FUMING.
To give some context, I love musicals. I love choreography, I love songs, I love amazing...
The real true truthy truth about babies
If you feel like you just don’t have time to read a 300-plus page book, have I got great news for you! Marvellous @Lellymo has summed up very many of my feelings on pregnancy, childbirth, feeding and all that jazz, but so hilariously that I woke up everyone in my house laughing at it. Those slumbering fools. If you’ve bought in to any of the myths about any of this stuff, have a read...
Pretty thorough research
Happy new year, everyone! There seems to be some rule about when you have to stop saying that to people, but since it takes me until March to catch up with everyone, my cut-off point is pretty flexible.
A marvellous Christmas was had by all, particularly since I knew I could (semi-) relax knowing The Baby Diaries had gone off to print at last, and also since my hilarious and lovely mother (a...
December 2012
3 posts
The Poem That Ruined Christmas
A couple of years ago, my parents gave us two beautiful Robert Sabuda pop-up books for Christmas, The 12 Days of Christmas (above) and The Night Before Christmas. They’re both full of the charm, wit and quality associated with Sabuda’s work - a silver fork poking out of the goose pie for six geese a-laying, the charging reindeer coming in to land in the famous Christmas poem - but...
The Christmas Kitchen Pt 2
Yule Log: ultimate Christmas joy. Having rummaged around for several different recipes (I was even toying with Delicious magazine’s salted caramel Yule log) I realised someone had already done the hard work for me, and plumped (AHAHHAAAHAHAHAA, because I ate so much) for Felicity Cloake’s excellent recipe. It’s flourless, so it’s very light, and that means the nutmeg and...
The Christmas Kitchen pt 1
Because I like cooking (and eating) and think there are plenty of good recipes around at this time of year that I’m happy for the kids to be involved with (unlike, say, a roast; made up mostly of raw meat, knives, and boiling oil) I find it’s a great time to get them away from their ‘books’ and ‘toys’ and into the kitchen to make my friends some gifts.
Two...
November 2012
2 posts
Jacket up
Blimey, it’s cold today. My mother (currently staying with us) took our eldest to school this morning (Me: Probably best if you just go, and I stay here inside in the warmth, yeah?) and came back saying how mild it was outside. Oh, she’s good. She’s really good. Turns out it’s absolutely arctic and, without my usual jumper, my hands were like tiny (not tiny at all) wooden...
An apology, an excuse, and a query
Hey gang! I’m so very sorry for not having posted here for so long - my tiny excuse is that I’ve been finishing The Baby Diaries and battling the stomach bug that’s been sweeping the nation like Pattinson Fever [dated reference no. 1]. Some people have had the 48-hour version - like my kids, thank Christ - others get the month-long, weakening, sickening version. Guess which one I...
September 2012
3 posts
“Q: When you are writing, do you use any celebrities or people you know as...”
– Satire. And if you fancy reading more, there’s plenty of it over at Novelicious. There’s my top literary weddings, my writing room (sofa) and a Q&A. So I’m basically James Patterson now.
Also, if you’d like to have a mental image of exactly which desk I’m talking...
Is this some kind of *game* to you?
(left to right, my sister and me, moments before commencement of the most violent Hat Game ever seen)
Generally, weddings can be pretty boring occasions. There’s always loads of standing around sipping champagne (which, FYI, is pretty gross actually YES I’M BLOWING YOUR MIND) and, if you’ve come as someone’s plus-one, it’s unlikely you’ll feel safe talking...
August 2012
13 posts
Wedding outfits - Net a Porter style
For my register office wedding, I wore a full, white, knee-length skirt my mother had made, plus Diane von Furstenberg white broderie anglaise top and green-and-white print jacket. I got the top and the jacket from Net a Porter (another gift from my mum) so I’ve always a) loved that site and b) associated it with weddings.
They’ve now got a whole wedding section, which has some truly...
Fabulous weddings
Oh hello. The Wedding Diaries was reviewed in Fabulous magazine this weekend, and I only went a did a Ten Commandments for Wedding Organisation, didn’t I? You can read that here, and enter their competition to win a copy of the book here.
BONUS GIFT: a photo of me on that website, looking like a crafty goose.
Lovely weddings I've attended
A new entry for the Lovely Weddings group. Liz and Henry are two of the funniest people I know, so despite the fact that I was STONE COLD SOBER at their wedding (due to being super-preg), it was still one of the greatest I’ve been to. Not least when Liz, then Henry, then the registrar and the rest of the guests started weeping with laughter at the invitation to “take Henry’s...
Wedding shoes of the day
Of course I’m biased, because I got my own wedding shoes from Topshop, but I am baffled when “buying the wedding shoes from Topshop” is somehow held up as the epitome of all penny-pinching wedding-ness. I think their footwear range are delicious, and if you might only wear them for a few hours, why wouldn’t you go Toshe?
These are so much a favourite that I bought a...
Wedding shoes of the day
From the sublime, to the sport-iculous. If you’re questioning why anyone would wear trainers to their wedding, then you clearly haven’t seen one of the greatest wedding films ever created. But, of course, these aren’t simply trainers. These are Nike wedge platform trainers, all Isabel Marant-y, but with a gorgeous Liberty pepper print. Perfect for a super-casual wedding, pub,...
My lovely publishers have put together a playlist...
Lovely weddings I've attended
Next up in the Lovely Weddings collection, we have one of my sisters, Fiona. Her wedding was bloody great fun, and the best man gave one of the funniest speeches I’ve ever heard. Then one of the guests got SO DRUNK they started crying and fell asleep on the table. It was about 4pm.
So tell us about it.
A May wedding with an understated country feel, we organised the ceremony to be on...
For the 'Ladies'
If I had to give one tip for any bride, it would be: go to Rigby & Peller and get yourself fitted properly for whatever bra you need on your wedding day. That would be my top tip, simply because it’s my top tip for anyone in possession of breasts whatever their marital status. FACT.
And despite the fact that R&P is slightly pricier than, say, M&S, I’m not of a size...
July 2012
11 posts
Lovely weddings I've attended
Catchy title, right? I’ve asked friends and family whose weddings I’ve been lucky enough to attend to tell us just how excellent they were and why. First up: Steph, one of my wonderful sisters-in-law. She and her not-then-yet-husband did the food at my wedding, so I LOVE THEM. (And they’re also the world’s nicest people.)
So tell us about it.
August, Chateau De Halloy,...
Unforgettable wedding moments - part 2
Don’t they look fabulous in the box? Don’t they? In reality, they made look like a wooden spoon doll someone had glued two slugs on to. And every time I blinked, I thought a crow was coming for me. Unforgettable indeed.
So the nice people at Avon asked some of you for your most unforgettable moments, and I picked me top five. Sue said:
“I went to a very posh wedding and I...
Ooooh! A strapless wedding dress! Something new...
I have been saying for years - YEARS - that I don’t really dig strapless wedding dresses. They’re so rarely flattering and so unlike any of the clothes you normally wear in which you actually look good, plus they seem one of the most obvious examples of zombie-wedding-planning (I AM MARRYING THEREFORE MUST WEAR A STRAPLESS DRESS). So imagine my delight when someone sent me this Jezebel...
“Government says honorific is an ‘unjustified and unnecessary reference to...”
– Sure, this might be old news, but it still makes me happy whenever I think about it. France disposes of the Madame and Mademoiselle distinctions. Nice.
Wedding shoes of the day
God, these shoes just make me ache. They are so beautiful in every way, and while perfect for any guest, could also totally be pulled off by a dashing bride in the right frock. A slim-fitting white suit? A short, floaty slip dress? Either way, friends I know with Grenson shoes talk for hours about their quality, comfort and care. If ever you were going to buy something special for a wedding day,...
“Your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest of your life but society appears...”
– Fantastic article by Christina McDermott over at The Flick, on how how weddings are, in many ways, ABSURD. If you like that argument, then boy is my book for you.
1 tag
Unforgettable wedding moments - part 1
We all make mistakes. Let’s put our hands up and admit it, then we can all be that little bit better and move on with our lives.
For some utterly unfathomable reason, I chose to wear a pair of shu uemura’s “statement” false eyelashes to my engagement dinner. Naturally, everyone was far too kind to comment, but I could see guest after guest rush to greet me, their eyes...
2 tags
Welcome, gang.
Hello! And welcome to my website.
It’s easy to be cynical and just say, ‘Sure, her editor made her do it, because the media is all talk nowadays about writers having to be all “Writers 2.0”, so this is just a massive marketing exercise and frankly, I can get my massive marketing fixes by watching the Olympics.” Well, zing.
But the fact is, that the idea of being...
